A Fresh Lick O Pent!

                   

It's a guid wee while noo syne the ootside o ma hoose haes haed its pentin freshend up but A thocht that noo wis as guid a time as ony wi sae muckle ongauns comin up in oor kintry this year. A'm no yin for blawin things or hooses up an mindin fowk aboot thon nine-eleeven stramash sae whit better wey o daein things nor giein awthin a fresh lick o pent? Sae thare A went an got a firm cried Murrayfield Decor tae come an dae aw the ootside pent wark on baith the hoose an the garage. An a braw guid job they did o it an aw.

As ye can see, they makit a richt braw job o pentin the garage door wi oor ain flag, the Scottish Saltire. Mind you, thare haes been a Saltire on thon door syne the lest time it wis pentit but thon wis afore the Scottish Government specified the richt shade o blue tae be yaised for the Saltire sae, the blue on the auld yin wis a lot darker an mair liker tae navy blue.

A dinnae ken if it's true or no, but A've heard tell that whan the oreeginal union flags wis first yaised bi the Navy ships they fund oot that the blue o the Saltire fadit awa ower quick sae they stertit tae yaise a darker shade o blue that got cried Navy Blue. Suin efter thon, maist o the Saltires wis brocht oot wi the darker blue an aw. 

It maun noo be aroond ten year syne, that the Scottish Pairlament laid doon an specified that the blue backgrund o the Saltire flag shuid be Pantone 300 an thon wis the colour yaised on ma garage door. It looks braw bonny in the abuin fotie an micht look e'en mair bonnie gin eneuch fowk votes the richt wey at the back end o the year.

GAUN YERSEL SCOTLAND!

Gie Us Back Oor Guid Scots Tung

The wey that the Scots leid haes been sleekitlie dingit doon bi the British Government syne a haundfu o skint Scots lairds pit thair haunds oot for a dale o English gowd in exchynge for oor independence, haes been naethin less nor ugsome. Ower the neist three hunner year, "Better Thegither" leukit doon on the wey oo aw spake an set oot tae kill it aff.

Bi the airly 1850's they sent inspectors roond aw the Scottish schuils tae mak siccar that baith the teachers an the bairns wis speakin juist English alane in the clessrooms. It wis dirlt intae the bairns' heids that  juist speakin English wis the "proper" wey tae speak an that Scots wis juist a common kinna street slang. Efter a while it wis gey common for bairns an growed ups tae judge the intelligence o strangers they first met, bi hou weel they cuid speak English.

The raicent 2011 Census reluctantly tells us there still aboot 1.5 million o us still aye wi a meisure o the auld Scots tung in oor heids but juist a wee haundfu o thaim daurs tae be heard yaisin it in public. E'en amang Scots leid upsteerers it's no unkent for some tae refuse tae yaise Scots in public for fear o daein skaith tae thair ain professional reputation. For the leid tae hae ony chance o survivin at aw it haes tae be heard an seen tae be bein yaised bi aw sections o the public nae maitter whit station they haud. Ony leid that isnae seen an heard tae be bein yaised is heidin strecht for the knacker's yaird. Hou can oo get ower this kinch at aw?

Whit oo micht hiv tae dae is tak a leaf oot the "Better Thegither" buik an mak aw oor schuils aither Gaelic medium or Scots medium schuils. But no juist that, whit wey no send oor ain inspectors roond thae schuils tae mak siccar that baith the teachers an the bairns is speakin juist Scots or Gaelic in the clessroom except in the English clessrooms? Weel, whit for no? Whit's guid for "Better Thegither" isnae like tae be dingit doon bi thaim gin it's yaised bi oorsels.  

Independence.

Bairns is born an then they maistlins growes up in thair ain faimlies tae they reach maturity. Efter that maist o thaim cleeks up wi a pairtner an finds a hoose o thair ain tae bide thegither in an stert a faimly o thair ain. Coorse, there aye the odd yins oot.  A minority, that for yin raison or anither, chuises tae bide thegither wi thair mithers an faithers.

Nae doot it wad be wrang tae cleek aw this minority o fowk in wi thae uphauders o the “Better Together” campaign, but it wad seem that maist fowk, if gien the chyce whan they growe tae maturity, wad raither gaun for thair ain independence nor tae bide wi thair ain mithers an faithers in adult life.  If this is true for fowk, an oo hiv tae accepp that nations is makit up o muckle groups o fowk cleekit thegither, than shuirlie it maun pynt tae it bein true for nations an aw. The natural chyce for maist mature nations maun shuirlie be independence juist as it is for fowk. An juist as mature fowk an mature nations chuises Independence, this independence disnae mean “separation” in ony wey.

If “Better Thegither” disnae apply tae mature fowk than shuirlie it disnae apply tae mature nations aither. Whan Maister Darling threips that Scotland is “Better Together” daes thon mean that he thinks Scotland is immature an hisnae growed up intae adultheid eneuch yet? Daes he mean that mature adult couples settin up hames independent fae thair parents is “separatin” thirsels fae thair mithers an faithers?

A see noo that the Royal Bank O Scotland haes come oot sayin "YES" tae personal independence bi eggin on young mairriet couples tae get independent o thair mithers an faithers an set up independent hooses o thair ain.                                                             See:- http://www.rbs.co.uk/personal/mortgages.ashx  

Shairly whit's guid for individual couples is guid for the kintry itsel! Sae, whit wey shuid oo no aw follae the thochts o the RBS an say YES tae oor independence as weel?

Onywey, mind an keep on takin the tartan taiblets an vote Aye (Yes) in the Referendum.

 

 

A Deid Language?

Scots is a deid language. Sae some fowk keeps on tellin us juist like the broken record they've been playin tae us for the lest hunner an fifty year. Jings, the maist popular sang ever in the warld, ower the lest twa hunner an fifty year, "Auld Lang Syne", is screivit in a deid language. Ay, that'll be richt!

In 1996, the GRO(S) did a test question on Scots in some airts o the kintrae afore they decidit no tae pit the question intae the 2001 Census. Howanever, fae the nummers they got, they war able tae jalouse an extrapolatit nummer o aboot 1.5 million Scots speikers for the hail o Scotland. Juist imagine it. 1.5 million fowk aw speikin a deid language an no kennin. But hing on a meinit. Gin ther wis 1.5 million fowk speikin it, hou in the name o the wee man can it be a deid language?  

A cuid unnerstaund Latin bein clessed as a deid language cause it juist exists in auld screivit records an disnae get yaised as a spoken ilka day language for communicatin wi. Howanever, whan hunners o fitba supporters on the terraces cries oot, "Hey Ref! Ye shuid've went tae Specsavers!", is thon no yaisin Scots as a spoken ilka day language o communication?

For raisons o thair ain, the Estaiblishment haes been ettlin tae ding doon the Scots language for aboot a hunner an fifty year, threapin that it's no a real leid or, it's juist slang or, it's ill spoken English or, it's a deid language or, it's juist the wey uneddicated fowk speiks. Whit ivver thair raisons, the Scots leid seems tae fill thaim aw wi terrification. Dae they see Scots as a threit tae the Union or tae the owerance o the English language in Scotland?

A micht be wrang but A think it micht be somethin tae dae wi whit oor ain leid can dae tae oor herts that they're feart o. As a laddie, A aye liked readin Oor Wullie an The Broons ilka Sunday an A aye leuked forrit tae the Christmas pantos wi thair ain Scots comedians. It wis kinna like gettin oot o the Estaiblishment jile for a wee while tae be back wi yer ain fowk an yer ain hamelt words. It felt like ye war gettin some o yer ain back agin yer doon-hauders. Like pittin twa fingers up tae thaim juist bi enjoyin the words an sookin in yer ain Scots athoot bein telt tae speik proper.  Awthin seemed tae soond better an funny stories wis aye funnier whan ye heard thaim in Scots.

Juist as a guid exemplar, A mind yin aboot Rikki Fulton's auld pal, the Rev. I. M. Jolly. A wee while back he hid been ower in Americae tae veesit some freends. On the wey hame, fleein ower the Atlantic tae Glesgae, he stertit tae feel mair an mair wabbit an jet-lagged the nearer he got tae the airport an he stertit thinkin tae hissel that bi the time he got hame he wad be that tired that he maist like widnae be able tae get tae sleep at aw. He thocht that it micht be better tae stop aff an get a full body massage on the wey hame fae the airport an that wey he micht get a better sleep whan he got hame.

Sae richt eneuch, he stopped his taxi in Sauchiehall Street on the wey hame an gaed intae a massage parlour tae speir a massage. This bonnie wee lassie taen him ben tae yin o the massage tables an left him tae get his claes aff an hyste hissel on tae the table. Whan she came back she stertit tae gie him a full body massage. The Rev felt richt guid as the glamour fae the lassie's fingers gart the bluid tae flow back intae his wabbit muscles an he stertit feelin better areddies.

Efter the massage wis feinisht, here did she no juist sclim up on tae the table an lie face doon on tap o him sae they war lyin cheek tae cheek an she whuspert intae his lug, “Wad ye like some super sex?”

Coorse the Rev didnae bat an ee afore he reponed, “Funny ye shuid say that hen, cause the wey A'm feelin the noo, A widnae mind a wee plate o soup.”

Ay, the auld yins is the best, particlar gin they're spoken or screivit in oor ain auld vernacular Scots tung. It's aw oor ain an haes juist been haundit doon bi oor ain forebeirs. A can juist hear the Estaiblishment girnin the noo that A shuidnae be writin like this cause it's no a real language. Juist yin wee lauch oot o the lot o ye's tho wad be eneuch tae pruive thaim aw wrang.

Some Facks Ye Shuid Ken Aboot An Independent Scotland

The follaein facks is owerset intae Scots fae the leet pitten oot bi:-
www.yesscotland.net.

 

Bein independent wad mean that the Scottish fowk thirsels wad be in chairge o Scotland's oncome. Taen aw thegither, ther naebody cares mair aboot oor ain nation nor oorsels, sae naebody else is gaun tae dae sic a guid job o makin Scotland a success.

 

Scotland mair nor peys its wey in the UK. Oo get 9.3% o the siller spent bi the UK, but contreibute 9.6% o the UK taxes. Oo're in a stranger financial poseition nor the lave o the UK, tae the tune o £510 for ilka body lest year - thon's ower £1000 for ilka Scottish hoose. As an independent kintrae, aw this siller wad stey in Scotland.

 

Scotland peys for aw the government services it needs as an independent kintrae areddies - it disnae hiv tae stert fae scratch. Howanever, aw the siller will be spent in Scotland, raither nor London, creatin thoosands o Scottish jobs.

 

Scotland wad bide as pairt o the EU. EU law disnae allou for Scotland tae be unilaterally kicked oot on independence. An, EU law maks siccar an aw that Scotland cannae be gart tae jyne the Euro.  Oo'll bide on yaisin the £, juist the wey oo dae the noo.

 

Scotland haes 25% o the EU's affshore wind an tidal scowth. Bi 2020 oor renewable energy cuid be generatin £2 billion a year in exports an bi 2050 oor renewable energy cuid be worth £14 billion a year.

 

Scotland disnae need ile tae become independent, but oor ile an gas resource is worth ower £1 trillion an gies us a safety net for the oncome. Lest year seen record investment in the North Sea an in October, BP said they expectit North Sea ile an gas tae flow for at least anither 40 year.

 

The UK government disnae coont in ile an gas whan it speaks aboot Scotland's finances. Howanever, if ye dae coont in ile an gas in oor naitional accoonts, oo wad be the 6th walthiest nation per heid in the warld.

 

Scotland haes a walth o talent - for oor size oo hiv mair warld-cless univairsities nor ony ither nation an oor research taps warld league tables.

 

Tae fund oot mair aboot the debate on Scotland's oncome veisit:

                                  www.yesscotland.net

Scotland's Twelfth Man.

"The follaein piece kythed in the Scots Independent in October, 2007 an wi the Scottish fitba team facin some mair fykie matches in the upcomin months, A thocht noo wis the time tae recruit as mony 12th Men for the side as oo cuid get haud o. It micht help an aw gin the Scottish fitba commentators mindit whan tae haud thair wheeshts on the wireless an the telly."

Bein brocht up in a fishin faimly an in a fishin community, ye suin got tae ken there wis juist the twa kinna fowk in this warld; fisher-fowk an treds-fowk. Gin a body wisnae fisher, they wurnae “yin o oo”.

Howanever, bein fisher brocht its ain responsibeilities an fae an airly age ye aye haed drummed intae ye the things ye cuidnae dae or cuidnae say an whare an whan. A wrang word or a wrang deed at the wrang time cuid suin chynge guid luck intae a richt sair weird. There wis nae yuiss a fishin yole gaun oot tae sea gin a meinister haed setten fit abuird it that day for awbody kent a meinister abuird a yole wis richt sair luck an sic a boat wisnae like tae come ower e’en a single fish tail.

In the same kinna wey there wis certain words ye juist daurna say an maist particlar on a Sunday. Shae or shuin wis ne’er heard an got replaced wi “dinnae mentions” or “dinnaes” for short. Rats wis aye kent as “lang-tail fellaes” an salmon wis turnt intae “rid fish” or “riddies”. Coontin yer chickens wis bad luck an aw sae that celebratin a guid haul afore the fish wis abuird the yole wis juist temptin fate an shuir as guns a raip wad brek an the catch wad be tint. Whiles gin ye heard a body coontin awbody’s chickens that wey, ye micht cuid undae the damage bi crossin yer fingers an touchin wuid.

Coorse, some fowk will never lairn an fitba commentators on the wireless or the telly is juist aboot the warst o the lot. Hou aften hiv oo been watchin Scotland playin in a fitba international wi the score staundin at 1-0 for the boys wi a hauf oor tae gaun when the commentator comes oot wi, “Scotland are playing out of their skins an if they can keep this up, they’ll easily qualify for the finals!”? Coorse oo aw ken whit happens next. The words is nae suiner oot his mooth whan the ither side scores the first o three goals an Scotland’s chances is oot the windae. Talk aboot temptin fate!

On the 12t September A watched Scotland playin France at the Parc-des-Princes in Paris, on the telly.  Efter beatin thaim 1-0 at Hampden, the pundits wisnae giein the Scots muckle chance in Paris an the odds wis on a French victory but howanever, if Scotland managed tae haud thaim tae a draw, thon wad be a bigger victory nor thair win in Glesca.

Aw throu the first hauf, A haed a grip o the wuiden coffee table at the side o ma chyre wi ma fingers crossed, willin the boys tae haud oot for juist anither meinit - an then anither - an then anither till the hauf time whustle blew an A cuid relax wi the score at 0-0.

A yaised the same tactics in the saicont hauf an efter aboot quarter o an oor the commentator stertit gettin a wee bit mair cocky an sayin that if Scotland cuid only haud oot for anither hauf oor it wad hae a guid chance o qualifyin.

“Man o man wull ye stop temptin fate that wey!” A shouted then grippit the edge o the table wi twa sets o crossed fingers. It wis a braw guid job A did that for the neist thing ye kent, Craig Gordon haed taen a goal kick an the ba endit up at Jimmy McFadden’s feet. He birlt roond an blootered the ba intae the French goal fae aboot thirty yairds. The goalie managed tae get a haund tae it but the ba juist aboot taen his haund aff on its wey tae the back o the net. Whit a goal! 1-0 tae Scotland!

A wis still enjoyin the moment whan the commentator went an spylt awthin bi threapin, “Now if only Scotland can hold on to that score for another twenty-seven minutes they will have achieved a momentous victory over the World Cup finalists.”

“Ach no man! Will ye shut up?” A shouted then grabbed the table wi twa sets o crossed fingers an willed Scotland tae hing on for anither meinit - an then anither meinit - an then anither.

Whan the final whustle blew the hail country loupit three feet in the air then A noticed hou numb ma fingers wis. But ach! For Scotland, it wis weel worth the bother. Mind you, A think the neist time A micht watch it wi the soond turnt aff.

Whan Alec McLeish wis bein interviewed efter the match he wis richtly fou o praise for aw his players but coorse he widnae ken aboot me an the pairt A’d taen. Then he apologised tae the Sky viewers for yaisin thon Scots word, “gallusness” which, he explained juist meant a cheeky kinna confidence. Ay, it wis that aw richt.

Gaun yersel Scotland!! 

Bob Fairnie.                              

                                                                                                                   

The Scots Spellin O English?

Keepin oor mither tung alive gies us an access or inlat tae oor ain history an oor ain cultur. Yaisin it, oo can unnerstaun the words an thochts that wis gaun throu the heids o oor forebeirs whan oor ain history wis bein mooldit. Gin oo gie it up an turn tae the language o England alane, aw oo'll be left wi will be a saicont cless inlat tae some ither bodie's cultur.

The thing that gars "The Brus" sic a ferlie tae me is that here oo hiv John Barbour, a learit Scots cleric, screivin aroond 1375 (aboot 61 year efter the Battle o Bannockburn) in whit he wad nae doot cry Inglis at a time whan the offeecial leid o the English coort an Norman rulin clesses wis still aye Norman/French. The furst Norman king o England efter 1066 tae stert yaisin English wis Henry IV aroond 1400 an it wisnae till efter this that the Scottish nobles taen tent o the diffrences atween the English yaised in England an the Inglis yaised in Scotland an stertit tae cry thair ain yin Scots efter the kintrae it wis yaised in. But anither thing A cannae get ower is the wey the spellin o the words that's shared atween baith Scots an English, in Barbour's screivin o the "Brus", fits easier intae modren English nor they wad intae, for exemplar, the English o 1600 (See Shakespeare or the Authorised Vairsion o the Holy Bible 1611).

Here a wee bit o Barbour's vairsion o Bruce's address tae his men afore the battle:-

"Lordingis, we aucht to love and luff

Allmychty God that syttis abuff
That sendis us sa fayr begynnyng.
It is a gret discomforting
Till our fayis that on this wis
Sa sone has bene rabutyt twis,
For quhen thai off thar ost sall her
And knaw suthly on quhat maner
Thar vaward that wes sa stout,
And syne yone othyr joly rout
That I trow off the best men war
That thay mycht get amang thaim thar,
War rebutyt sa sodanly,
I trow and knawis it all clerly
That mony ane hart sall waverand be
That semyt er off gret bounté,
And fra the hart be discumfyt
The body is nocht worth a myt,
Tharfor I trow that gud ending
Sall follow till our begynnyng."

Ye micht hiv tae yaise a wee bit immagination wi some o the spellins but it's no as hard as it leuks. Juist tak tent that 'i' an 'y' is aften interchyngeable an the penultimate 'i' afore 's' is gey near aye silent.
                                                                        
A hunner year on fae Barbour the Scottish Pairlament, in 1496, (Fower year efter Columbus discovert Americae) recordit the Schuilin Act o thon year.

"It is staute and ordanit throw all the realme that al barronis and frehalderis that ar of substance put thair eldest sonnis and airis to the sculis fra thai be aucht or nyne yeiris of age........And quhat baroune or frehalder of substance that halds nocht his sone at the sculis as said, is haifand na lauchfull essoyne bot failyeis heirin fra knowledge may be gottin thairof he sall pay to the king the soume of XX pounds."

Lowpin on tae 1565 in the ring o Mary, Queen o Scots, efter Roman biggins wis onkivvert in Inveresk, Musselburgh, the follaein extrack wis taen fae the Queen's Thesaurer's accoonts:-

"Aprile 1565:-
Item.   To ane boy passend of Edinburgh, with ane charge of the Queenis grace, direct to the baillies of Mussilburgh, charging thaim to tak diligent heid and attendance that the monument of grit antiquitie now fundin be nocht demolishit nor broken doun,     xii.D."

Nae mair nor a week efter the abuin entrie wis eikit tae the Queen's accoonts, Randolph, the English Ambassador tae Scotland screivit the follaein report tae the Earl o Bedford an it's gey intrestin tae compare the twa leids. Thir nae comparin the twa spellins for the English yin is spelt in the "Ye olde curiousitie shoppe" style whare-as  the Scots Spellins widnae be oot o place in a modren English dictionar.

"Edenburgh, 7th April 1565:-
For certayne ther is founde a cave besyds Muskelbourge, stonding upon a number of pillers, made of tyle stones curieuslye wroughte, sygnefyinge great antiquetie, and straynge monuments found in the same. Thys comethe to my knowledge, besyds the comon reporte, by th' assurance of Alexander Clerke, who was ther to see yt, wch I wyll do myself wthin these three or four dayes, and wryte unto yor Ldship the more certayntie therof, for I wyll leave nothynge of it unseen."

Here agane ther nae doot that the Scots an English leids o Aprile 1565 wis diffrent in soond an ther nae compare atween the spellins. Whit grips ma ee mair nor oniethin else tho is the appearance o thae words that Scots shares wi English. In the Queen's accoonts thae words is aw spelt in modren English but the spellins o Lord Randolph is in a mair auld farrant Elizabethan style. This is the kinna thing ye micht expeck gin modren Standart English wis a byleid o Scots an no the ither wey aroond. Or wis it the wey that, whare the spellin o the common words wis concairned, Scots got tae the standart spellins first an Standart English copied thaim? 

Picters In Yer Heid

A mind a puckle year syne takin pairt in a Radio Scotland braidcast aboot the Scots language. Yin o the ithers takin pairt threapit mair or less that oo war aw wastin oor times ettlin tae speak Scots cause maist o us aw thocht juist in English onywey. A taen him up on that pynt for A thocht at the time that A wis thinkin in Scots. A haed been speakin in Scots an A kent fine that A didnae think up a sentence in English first then owerset it intae Scots. It juist disnae work that wey.

The diffrence atween Scots an English isnae juist the diffrent soond o the words that's yaised. Ther diffrences in the gremmar, sentence structure an idiom an aw. A guid exemplar micht be the "Singularity o certain Scots plural verbs". English aye yaises plural verbs wi plural nouns an plural pronouns. Scots aye yaises singular verbs wi baith singular an plural nouns an juist chynges ower tae a plural verb whan it's cleekit tae a plural pronoun. Sae, ye can get the likes o, "The dugs is rinnin doon the street" or "They are rinnin doon the street".

Onywey, noo-a-days A'm no shair if oo think in languages at aw. A mind a while back ma youngest dauchter haed been bidin in Germany for a while an haed gotten engaged tae a German polisman. The neist time ma wife an masel wis ower for a veisit, oo got introduced tae oor dauchter's future Guid-Faither an Guid-Mither an efter a blether in thair hoose, they taen us a lang daunder alangside a canal an oot intae the kintrae side. This turnt oot tae be nae sma daunder but lestit for aboot three oors. Ma wife wis walkin alangside the mither an masel alangside the faither.

A haed aye taen an intrest in the German language syne the days o the War whan A yaised tae get a job on the scuil holidays warkin on the local ferm alangside some German POWs. A mind yin day A wis warkin wi yin cried Heinz an oo war baith liftin boxes o lettuce aff the conveyor belt efter they hid cam oot o the washer machine. Oo hid tae coont aw the boxes as oo steckit thaim up in a corner an it wisnae that lang afore oo war baith coontin thaim in German. Thon wis whit stertit me aff lairnin masel the leid.

The POWs wisnae allooed aff the ferm an yin day juist afore denner time, Heinz haundit me a twa-bob bit an speirt if A wad get him ten Woodbine whan A gaed hame for ma denner. A telt ma mither as A wis haein ma denner an she got anither twa-bob bit oot her purse an said, "Puir Sowel. Get him twinty."

Whan A gied the twinty Woodbines tae Heinz he luikit fair bumbazed an said that he haed only gied me twa bob.

"Von meine Mutter." wis yin o ma first real yuisses o the leid an A wis fair awa wi masel.

Onywey, wi ma dauchter's waddin comin up, A thocht A'd be best tae tak an O Level coorse in German at the nicht scuil. Sae, as A wis walkin wi ma dauchter's Guid Faither tae be, it turnt oot that he cuidnae speak a word o English sae oo juist spake for three hale oors in German. The thing is it cuid only hiv been in German wi him no speakin ony English an, tho A can mind maist o the things oo haed been bletherin aboot, A cannae mind whit language maist o the words wis spoken in. Ye see, whan ye think back on a crack that ye've haed, ye dinnae see the words spelt oot in the language that wis yaised, nor dae ye hear the words spoken in yer lugs. Aw that ye mind is the picters that thae words haes pitten intae yer heid. Picters that can be owerset intae ony leid that ye're acquent wi.

Sae A doot A maun hiv been hauf richt durin thon Radio Scotland braidcast. A hidnae been thinkin in English richt eneuch nor haed A been thinkin in ony leid. A haed been thinkin in picter like thochts that kythed in ma heid an A haed owerset thae picters direck intae Scots words. Aiblins, wi a monoglot English speakin body that disnae speak ony ither leid, A cuid unnerstaun thaim thinkin they war thinkin in English cause aw the picter thochts in thair heids wis aye bein owerset intae English an nivver intae ony ither leid. Howanever, wi bi-lingual or multilingual fowk, thae picters can be owerset intae ony nummer o leids. Sae the quaisten noo is, whan oo think aboot onythin, are thae thochts comin intae oor heids as words o yin, twa or ony nummer o leids or are oor thochts juist comin intae oor heids as picters for us tae owerset intae whitever leid oo're yaisin at the time? 

Bob Fairnie.

Thochts o Speakin Scots

Is it ony wunner at aw that mature professional Scots disnae feel aw that canty tryin tae speak Scots in formal or e'en in informal forgaitherins o thair peers? Efter bein telt for years at the scuil tae stop yaisin thon common street slang an lairn tae speak proper, they war fleetched tae redd thae common words an habits oot thair speech. As they gaed thair wey throu eddication on the gate tae professionalism, they got better an better at no yaisin thae words that thair forbeirs kent as freends. "Pittin thair fit in it" wis somethin that kythed less an less as time gaed by. The mair they lairned tae think in English, the easier it wis tae keep thae scunnersome Scottiscisms oot the wey. Some, nae doot, creenged an leukit doon thair nebs at the orra misfortunate sowel they whiles heard yaisin thae auld maukit words fae the sheuch an shawin tae the yird the puir cheil's want o a guid eddication. Aiblins fowk the likes o thon wisnae clivver eneuch tae lairn hou tae speak proper onywey.

Haed the Scottish estaiblishment no been sae nairrae-nebbit in the bygane, an seen insteid the guid o bilingualism or e'en multilingualism, Scotland micht hiv been a sicht better place the day. Wi nae "inarticulate Scot" an nae tung-tackit bairns wi inferiority complexes in the scuils, juist think whit a croose an wycelike society oo cuid hiv haed. Ay, oo've aye been able tae haud oor ain wi the bettermaist at tred an in the mercat but think hou muckle better oo micht hiv been. Ye cannae be ower guid whan it comes tae biggin up the prosperity o a nation an naethin beirs the gree better nor a side that is croose an canty wi itsel. But the Scots language wis sic an ugsome thing tae thae cheils that haed the best interests o North Britain at hert. It haed tae be redd oot tae the hinnermaist vowel. Tae thaim there wis juist room in fowks' heids for juist the yin language an that language wis tae be English. Wi thaim, lairnin tae speak it meant unlairnin tae speak Scots an Gaelic tae. Ethnic linguistic cleansin fae aroond 1850 on!

Howanever, life lowps alang the gate o time an fowk, alang wi thair consaits, gets aulder an whiles oot o fashion. Leirit fowk noo pynts oot the psychological skaith that's been duin tae the bairns an hauflins bi doonhaudin an makin a bauchle o the language that thae young fowk brings wi thaim fae the hame an the community. On the ootside, awbody grees wi the siccar pedigree an wirth o the Scots language an maks oot they're scunnert that onybody cuid think o't as slang but, for aw this ootby swall o uphaud for the mither tung, pairts o the estaiblishment hisnae chynged muckle deep doon inside.

Tae mature professional Scots, that maks up the feck o Scots language upsteerers the day, the skaith haes been duin areddies an tho thair herts an thair heids kens noo that aw thae lees they war telt, wisnae true, it's a different maitter wi thair mooths. Thair mooths, it wad seem, haes a mind o thair ain an is gey sweir tae gie up thair hard won English. Forbye, the'r aye the sheddae o thon puir cheil's want o a guid eddication lirkin at the back o thair heids an awbody's sweir tae be the first tae tak the lowp. If they cuid juist gaun intae a chemist shop an coff some conter-creenge patches tae steek on thair airms, things widnae be sae fykie. A've heard tell that whan Catalonia got its ain devolution an the TV braidcasters stertit readin oot the news in Catalan, the fowk wis smitten wi the creenge an thocht it wis common an ugsome. They didnae hae airm patches thare aither but the creenge juist gaed awa aw bi itsel efter aboot sax weeks an noo they widnae hae it ony ither wey.

Yince thae professionals kens athin thirsels the'r nocht in speakin Scots as shuid gie thaim a rid face, it's juist a maitter o thaim gittin tae be croose in the speakin o't. They juist hiv tae git yaised tae it. Tae dae thon, they wad be weel wyced tae pit thair minds back tae thair bairnheids an mind whit fasht thaim then whan they war first lairnin tae speak English. Whit wis it that gart thaim pit thair fit in it sae aften then in compare wi the noo? As bairns they stertit tryin tae speak English at a time in thair lives whan maist o thaim war still thinkin in Scots. Noo they're no croose an canty wi speakin Scots cause, in maist cases, they're still thinkin in English. Oo're speakin here aboot fowk that soonds guid Scots speakers tae ither fowk but dinnae think thirsels they're aw that guid. This is cause the'r aye a breck in the rin o thochts gaun throu thair heids wi the words aye hivin tae be owerset aw the time fae English intae Scots. The wey o gettin ower this is tae lairn tae think in Scots or raither tae lairn tae be able tae think in aither Scots or English at will.

Lairnin tae think in Scots soonds easier said nor duin but it's dumfoonerin tae fund oot whit a skoosh it can be. Practisin thinkin in Scots is a thing that awbody can dae gey near ony whare an ony time. Ye cuid be hurlin alang in yer motor wi hunners o thochts gaun throu  yer heid. Juist git intae the habit o owersettin aw thae English thochts intae Scots yins. The same thing can be duin juist as easy whan ye're gaun ower the carpets wi the stoor-sooker, cuikin the denner, hingin oot the claes, daein the airnin, cuttin the gress, diggin the gairden an hunners o ither seetiations whan thochts is gaun throu yer heid. They dinnae aye hiv tae be in English. The sairest thing that haes tae be owercome is gettin yaised tae lattin ither fowk hear ye speakin Scots an pittin oot yer heid, thochts o whit thae ithers thinks aboot yer want o eddication. Ye ken yersel the'r nae want. The mair fowk in the company that jines in, the easier it's gaun tae be for awbody. Sax weeks it taen the Catalonians. Lat's see hou lang oor mature professional Scots can dae it in.

 

Bob Fairnie

Emma Chizzit?

In ma younger days, A warkit in the shipyairds, baith in ship design an in management. Howanever, ther cam a day at the back end o the 1960s whan it leukit like ma shipyaird wis on its wey oot an micht be gaun tae shut doon. The ootcome o this wis me an ma faimly sailin oot tae Sydney, NSW, tae tak up a new job as Senior Drafting Officer wi the Australian Shipbuildin Board. Oo wurnae lang in settlin doon an endit up bidin in Campbelltown, an oor an a hauf fae Sydney bi electric train.

Ma youngest dauchter wis juist five year auld whan oo first got thare an gaed strecht intae the primary scuil whaur she suin got tae be guid pals wi twa sisters. The youngest yin o thaim wis in her cless. In nae time at aw she wis speakin braid Strine, whit ye micht cry Australian Standart English. A didnae hae ony bother unnerstaundin Strine masel an cuid aye mak masel unnerstuid excep whan oo war in the shops on a Seturday an A hid tae spell ma name oot. The assistants aye got the spellin wrang an A aye hid tae get ma dauchter tae spell it oot tae thaim.

Aboot a year efter oo arrived in Campbelltown, ma wife an masel wis doon the street yae Seturday mornin an oo bumped intae the mither an faither o ma dauchter's twa pals. Oo war haein a guid blether an the lassies' mither telt us aboot the time they cam hame aw excitit aboot a new lassie in the cless an she cam fae Scotland. They hid telt thaim that she cuid speak guid English but her Mum an Dad cuidnae.

No lang efter oo hid sattelt in Campbelltown, A hid been speirt tae tak up a pairt time job lecturin tae sea gaun marine engineers aboot Ship Construction at Sydney Technical College. This wis for ilka Wednesday nicht fae 6pm tae 9pm. The only kinch wi this wis that the electric trains tae Campbelltown stopped rinnin at 7pm sae it meant A wad hiv tae get yin o the diesel "country" trains leavin fae the Central Station at 9.15pm. It wis a guid job the Central wisnae aw that faur fae Sydney Tech but it wis still a bit o a rush, parteeclar on the first nicht. Whan A got thare, A seen aboot five pletforms sae A gaed strecht tae the first yin an speirt the ticket lassie whit wis the pletform for the Campbelltown train.

The ticket lassie wis in her twenties an bonnie wi it an, efter A speirt her, she gied me a smile as braid as Sydney herbour an said, "Noo hou wid A ken a thing like that Jock?" Efter she seen ma mooth drap, she eikit, "If A wis you A'd try number fower." A juist smiled back an said, "Thanks hen!" Sae, thare wis me. A'd juist gien a lectur on "Ship Construction For Marine Engineers" in whit A thocht wis ma best Strine an yon Scottish lassie hid fund me oot nae bother at aw.

It wisnae lang efter thon that yae denner time A wis haein a keek throu yin o the Sydney buik shops an cam ower a buik cried "Let's Talk Strine!"  

"That yin wad dae juist the dab." A thocht.

A got torn intae thon buik tae see if it wad mak me soond mair Strine in ma lecturs. Whuther it did or no, A nivver fund oot but A ken that A nivver hid ony o ma students girnin aboot no bein able tae unnerstaund me. Onywey, A fund thon buik gey interestin an A mind yin bit whaur the author wis tellin the story aboot an English author that wis ower in Sydney tae sign copies o his new buik. He wis sat at a desk in the shop an thare wis a lang queue o customers waitin tae hae thair buiks signed.

This wee auld wifie got tae the tap o the queue an pit her buik doon on the desk. Athoot leukin up, the author speirt, "Name please?"

"Emma chizzit?" the auld wifie reponed.

Sae, the author stertit tae screive, "To my good friend, Emma Chizzit."

"Naow! naow!" said the wifie, "Emma chizz e beuk?"

"Jings!" A thocht, "Even A kent that yin!"

Oo hid sailed oot tae Australia fae wast tae east an, efter three year, oo decidit tae sail fae wast tae east an see the ither hauf o the yird on oor wey hame tae Scotland. Whan oo arrived back at the Waverley station, ma brither an some o the faimly hid arrived wi the fishin boat's mini-bus tae tak us an oor luggage hame.

Ma youngest dauchter wis aicht year auld bi noo an wis hingin on tae ma haund as oo war aw sclimmin up the Waverley steps haein a guid auld crack. She stertit pouin at ma haund an speirt in braid Ausie Strine, "Dad! Dad! What does 'Ah dinnae ken' mean?"

Ower 1900 Year o History.

The abuin pentin shaws the Roman Brig that spans the Esk Water in Musselburgh.

The Romans cam here aroond the year 80AD an biggit a fort on the tap o Inveresk hill whare Inveresk Kirk an kirkyaird is the day. The front yett o the fort leukit strecht doon on tae this pairt o the Esk fae richt tae left whare they biggit the oreeginal stane brig. History tells us that at yae time, the herbour wis at the water mooth o the Esk an no whare Fisherraw herbour staunds the day. Howanever, ye can vernear draw a strecht line fae the front yett o the Roman fort, ower the Roman Brig an on tae whare the praisent Fisherraw herbour staunds. We ken an aw that the praisent herbour wis biggit in the 18th century an sits gey near tae whare the auld Roman herbour stuid sae, the herbour at the water mooth o the Esk maun hiv been somewhare in atween thae twa periods o history.

The oreeginal Roman brig hid juist the twa airches, an wis re-biggit that wey in the 13th century yaisin the oreeginal Roman foonds. A third airch, that ye can juist see a wee bittie o, an ither replenishments wis eikit tae the brig in the 19th century.

In 1314, the English King Edward II crossed ower the brig in his retreat fae the Battle o Bannockburn as did the Scots airmy, fleein fae the Battle o Pinkie in 1547. Bonnie Prince Chairlie an his Jacobite airmy mairched ower it on thair wey tae the Battle o Prestonpans in 1745 tho nae doot, thaim on horses micht weel hiv yaised the ford that crosses the water this side o the brig.

Aye. Ye can say richt eneuch that muckle water haes passed ablow the Honest Toun's auld Roman Brig in the lest 1900 year but think on the muckle history that haes passed ower it an aw.

See http://www.ayecan.com/ for mair aboot Scots.